• Luke Kayyem

The KEYS to a happy, healthy, long-lasting marriage is...

The KEYS to a happy, healthy, long-lasting marriage is simple, not easy and it just happens to be written on the sign above us.



The moment you do, it’s GAME OVER! 🕹

Now, I’m not a marriage counselor or a recently divorced man giving you advice from his Bumble account and I’m most definitely not perfect or is our marriage, but I can share with you what I have learned after 12 years of matrimony and coaching many men who face the daily struggle of being Married with Children.

The only easy day was yesterday and like the U.S Navy we must get after it everyday.

Both Partners, husband, and wife MUST work together to learn, live and apply the KEYS to a ROCK SOLID UNION.


Accept the fact that this is the woman you chose, the partner you committed to and that she is the way that she is and that’s who you fell in love with first.

Accepting this TRUTH and the REALITY that this is the life you both committed to will eliminate the need or thought of what else or what’s next and reduce the fear of missing out on something.

If you truly cannot accept the fact that you’re married to one woman, then you probably weren’t ready, to begin with, and that’s either a timing issue or a personal issue and both are on you!

BRO TIP: You won’t fix your marriage at the bar, club or golf course! Stop running from your reality in hopes of a fantasy.

The difference between lust and love is the work you’re willing to put into the relationship.


You don’t have to agree with everything, like the same activities or even share similar interests but you MUST be in complete alignment with each other's goals, dreams, and ambitions.

If she dislikes poker… cool, if she dislikes your favorite food… cool, but if she doesn’t accept your family, vision or life aspirations and deep-rooted morals… it’s NOT COOL.

A beautiful partnership starts and ends with mutual respect, trust and love for the families core values over anyone else’s self-interest.

Stop arguing over stupid shit and collide over meaningful outcomes. It’s not healthy to constantly be in a state of fear, worry, and anger.

Home with your Queen should be a healing sanctuary and a positive environment. Set your standards and live by a code.

If a Saturday night at your house turns into the “War of the Roses” take a walk and get crystal clear about your thoughts, feelings, and emotions about the situation that triggered you. Then go back in and have a conversation with only one outcome… PEACE and HAPPINESS.

BRO TIP: Listen, think, feel and then react to her. But whatever you do don’t EXPLODE and lose your cool. Nobody wins in a nuclear war.


A successful marriage starts with operating the GAME of LOVE with certainty and clarity that will translate into assuring yourself and her that she is the ONLY ONE that matters.

Jealousy is a painful breakdown in communication. If you’re crystal clear with your intentions and she trusts your instincts it doesn’t matter what the situation is she will believe in you, where you go and what you do.

BRO TIP: If you’re the Jealous type, STOP blaming it on her. It’s you and all you, and can start from a lack of self-confidence that comes from fear.

Fear that you’re not good enough or rich enough or even good looking enough is not the fear I speak of.

It’s a deeper self-perspective fear from not putting in the work and treating her like the woman she knows and want’s to be treated like.

All the other man did was put an imaginary mirror in front of her face that makes her see the possibility of how amazing she could be treated.

Either way, I truly believe in the power of open communication regardless of the conversation.

The truth may hurt, but lies kill.

Put in the work, be genuine, authentic, passionate, understanding, excepting and constantly working on your #1 or the reality is if you don’t…



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